FET Cancelled :-(

It looks like 2007 is not our year. My RE called Saturday morning (Day 6 for the little embryo) and said it was not looking good at all. The cells inside stopped growing and the whole thing was starting to degenerate and the outside ring was starting to fall in on itself? That last part was the same way they told me about our little baby when it had no heartbeat - that it had started folding in on itself. :-( I knew it wasn't very hopeful but this still sucks. She said to stop all meds and I should get AF (my period) in 3 days. Call her with AF and she would like me to go on 3 weeks of BCP and then we'll start stims again. She says they are optimistic since I got pregnant once that it will happen again. Optimistic was definitely not one of the feelings I was going through right then. I balled like a baby after hanging up with her and then got my strength back up. I really did want to jump right into stims but perhaps it's better that I go on a pack of pills. That way at least I'll get to enjoy Christmas. It looks like I'll probably be starting Stims (shots/meds to create a lot of eggs) right about Xmas Eve but at least I won't be worrying about fertilization reports or beta results. SO that has to give me a little hope for enjoying the holiday. I'm seriously wondering if we should start considering donor eggs at some point?? I know they keep talking about my egg and embryo quality. I think we'll do this fresh IVF and if it doesn't work then we'll talk to her about donors. I think that costs a fortune though. This is very frustrating! We went over to our neighbors for a Thanksgiving dinner and I indulged in a few glasses of wine. Today I'm indulging in a cup of tea! WITH CAFFEINE!! SHAMEFUL! ;-) I figure I should indulge and wallow for 1 day and have the things I know I miss and then I start eating super healthy, keeping up with yoga, maybe looking into accupuncture - whatever it takes. I am on a mission to make super healthy eggs (well the best I can do anyway) for this next IVF. Maybe this one will work since I'm a bridesmaid in one of my best friend's wedding on Sept. 20th. If it works I'll probably be about ready to pop. That would be just our luck. LOL I complain about never getting to be a bridesmaid and here is my chance and I'll probably have my water breaking at the ceremony. LOL Well one can hope. ;-) She's such a wonderful friend - she said it would just add excitement to the day. :-) Well - here's to 2008! Let's hope it's our year!!!! CAUSE THIS YEAR SUCKED!!!! Let's move on to the best year of our life! :-)