Learning to love myself again....

After getting over the initial shock of this cancel and long hold - I think I might be doing better. Nick and I decided to join a gym last night after a lot of discussion. We went to one that is very close to our house, pricey but has anything and everything you can imagine. Anyway - everyone there was SO nice and happy and friendly - and amazingly the happy thing didn't bother me!! ;-) I really want to get back to loving myself and my body. I've been so depressed because of the infertility, miscarriage, and gaining weight. I just hate even looking at myself. Nick is about the same way so we decided to focus on "us" for awhile. It's something we can do together and get back to making ourselves feel good. It has a pool, sauna, steam room, jacuzzi and anything else you can imagine (basketball, raquetball, squash, will have outside tennis courts added later, and a really cool pool area for adults and kids). My opinion - worth the $$ right now. I can work out and then spoil myself. ;-) It may take a little bit longer to reach our $ goal doing this but I think physically and mentally I'll be in a better place when we do reach that goal. AND they have a medical freeze so that when I am in IVF process again my Doc can write a note and they'll freeze my account till I can go back to working out. The whole 9 months + if need be! Anyway - I am feeling better about things and hope to continue that way. :-)