Merry Christmas to us....bah humbug! :-(

Well looks like the bad news just keeps coming for us. I am not fond of this year at all and what a way to end it. We were having issues getting our meds for the IVF filled at Walgreens. After talking to about 4 different people last Friday I found out that I have a cap of how much I can spend at Retail pharmacies vs. the mail-order pharmacy through my insurance. SO the guy on Friday said to have my DR call in the prescriptions and they'd have them out to me. SO me being a nervous nelly, I called yesterday to check on how it was doing, when it would be here, verify the cost for the billionth time.....Keep in mind my insurance WAS great. The last IVF all of my meds totaled 147.00 (minus all the progesterone from when I was pregnant but that was only $1.00/day). ANYWAY - after being transferred 4 times last night I finally spoke to someone who specializes in infertility medicine. He gave me possibly the worst news I've heard in well...at least a few weeks...since the bad news has been prevalent lately. Apparently, my insurance has a $5000.00 lifetime cap on fertility medication and I had reached it. WHAT????? I have never once seen this information anywhere....not one out of the 10 people I have talked to in the past 2 business days said anything about that. Are they kidding me with this? First - I come to terms with the fact this will be our last IVF in quite a long while due to my insurance and of course $$. But never had I heard anything about a cap on my meds. My oh so wonderful insurance has officially gone down the drain. I can't even refill Nate's medicine at Walgreens (which the doc has him on a month-to-month basis) because I've reach my retail pharmacy spending cap. Why do they not send you information on this stuff??? I'm seriously just in pieces. I have to call my Doctor's office this morning and tell them we will have to put this on hold for at least several months. Being proactive in my "trying not to cry on the phone" state, I asked how much the drugs are out of pocket. Apparently the mail-order pharmacy through my insurance is about the most expensive out there. Just to give you a rough idea. ONE of the drugs I need is $84.25 per vial. I need 50 vials. That's just one of the meds. If I knew my insurance didn't cover this stuff or if it never did and we'd been saving, I would have been prepared. Instead, I thought we were all ready to go - we had the money we thought we needed ready to go. Now this.... Anyway the lovely man who gave me the crappy news told me about Freedom Pharmacy - which I had heard of before - and said to try them. They were "in network" in case some of the meds could be covered under different diagnosis than infertility. I called them and that same drug that was 84/vial is $59.49/vial. SO it is a lot cheaper but definitely nowhere close to what we can afford right now. SO I'm wallowing. Definitely wallowing. Convinced Nick to take me to get wine last night and had a few glasses. Fell asleep watching I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry (which sucks because I really wanted to watch it!!). Then cried myself to sleep and woke up at 5am and couldn't sleep anymore. I'm just in shock. Anyway - life sucks. I guess for the time being we'll save up for the meds and do that last IVF when we can. I just can't believe all of this is happening. SO barring a miracle, financial or reproductive, we will be putting our baby plans on hold for quite a while. I guess I can finally work on getting all this extra weight off me. Hopefully that will at least work! I may try to follow the Infertility Cure (book) and see how that goes. At least to get my body prepared for that last big IVF. I think it's hit me extra hard because it was getting so close and I was getting excited and preparing myself mentally and physically for it and now I feel like I hit a brick wall when I was going 100 mph. :-(